makes you stronger
by Demonic Angel Clone
Summary: Whatever doesn't kill you, right? Ben Boykewich and Adrian Lee birth a beautiful baby girl -this is the aftermath. "How do we know that this isn't some kind of karma, or that she was never supposed to be ours?"  Rated M
1. a still silence

The following is **dark**, and _sad_, and is rated **M** for a reason. Reader discretion is advised.

If I continue this, which is a very distinct possibility, it'll only get darker and will contain adult storylines, such as drugs, sex, and betrayal, so…get ready for that.

Or not. This is only the beginning; so, if this isn't your type of story, _click the __**Back**__ button_.

* * *

She's told to _push_. She's told to help guide her daughter into the world, but what these people don't understand, can't understand, is that she's _exhausted_. Her eyes _sting_ from sweat and tears and the _searing_ pain is _unbearable_ and she just wants it to _end_.

Adrian's nails bite into Ben's soft flesh, but she doesn't really care. What concerns her is the eerily calm look on her mother's face, slowing urging her on. Everyone's _talkingscreamingyelling_ and all she longs for is silence. She lets out a guttural groan and clamps her eyes shut, feeling as if her world's been set on fire.

And then, that's when it happens:

"_Doctor, there's something wrong with this baby!"_

And the world tilts into darkness.

* * *

Her eyes burst open after that declaration, demanding answers. "_My_ baby? _What's wrong with my baby?"_ She asks shrilly, her voice growing with hysteria.

Dr. Zano's face lifts from behind the sheet he is working over; handsome face gaunt and unsettled. "Adrian, the baby is almost out, I just need one more push, just one more push, for you to see her."

She can't really form words at the moment but she registers Ben's hand squeezing hers reassuringly and she looks over at her parents and his parents and she just closes her eyes once more and pushes as if her life depended on it. She's terrified and tired and hopeful and she just wants to finally hold her little girl in her arms. A bead of sweat rolls down her beaten brow and she gasps when she feels the release of pressure from between her legs. Her eyes close in satisfaction and she waits.

And waits.

And _waits_.

Her eyes open wearily. "Why isn't she crying?" No one answers. She looks over at Ben, whose face is the epitome of fear and devastation. "Ben, why isn't our baby crying?"

"Adrian," Doctor Zano begins consolingly. "The baby is-"

"Why isn't she _crying_?" Adrian shrieks hysterically. "What's wrong with my daughter?"

A nurse behind Doctor Zano urges the man in front of her to call it. To call the time. **10:23 A.M.**

Adrian Lee will never, ever, forget that time. The time of her daughter's death.

* * *

_Stillborn_.

Something about that is unequivocally wrong. Because the baby _was_ alive, the baby _was_ moving, pliable flesh with a mind and heart, and the moment it entered the world, it just _wasn't_ that anymore. It _wasn't_ moving, it's feather light heart _wasn't_ beating, and God _didn't_ exist anymore.

Because what type of a God bore a nonliving child into the world?

Doctor Zano holds the child guardedly, as if it were something that could've still been broken. Adrian doesn't take into account the fact that her parents and Ben's parents are in the room, crying helpless tears. Or that their friends were out in the waiting room, waiting to see what had gathered them all there. Her determinate eyes focus on the bundle held in front of her.

"I want to hold her," Adrian says, eyes unseeing and faded. "I want to hold my child."

No one breathes.

"In your condition, I'm not sure that that's the best, Adrian." Doctor Zano says calmly, brow worried and concerned.

"I want to hold my _daughter_!" Adrian roars at the top of her lungs. "I don't _care_ what's best for me right now, I _need_ to hold her in my arms. I need to see her for myself!" She looks to her right, to the father of her child. "Ben, please get me my daughter. I have to see her, please." Tears stream down the distraught mother's face and Ben nods, crossing the side of the bed to stand in front of the doctor. After a moment of uncertainty, the doctor gently lays the little bundle in Ben's arms and Ben takes a saddened look for himself before walking back to his prior position next to Adrian. He sets their daughter into her waiting arms and Adrian's eyes fill with stinging salt as she stares down at this beautiful soft mold of flesh in her arms.

"Mom, Dad, can we just-"Adrian chokes out in a strangled voice. "Can we just be left alone for a few minutes?"

Cindy brushes back Adrian's fallen curl behind her ear lovingly and looks to Rueben, who nods perceptively. Leo follows suit and ushers a sobbing Betty out of the room on the low of her back, while the doctor and accompanying nurses file out. Soon, it's only Ben, Adrian, and the unmoving infant in her arms that inhabitant the surroundings and Adrian truly breaks down, curling her face over her daughter's small form. Ben cradles them both in his embrace as Adrian's broken sobs fill the room and he doesn't know why- how- this could happen them. To _her_. To his _innocent_ baby girl. And to his friend that he grown to know more than anyone else. How could they have managed to have lost _everything_ in a matter of moments?

He strokes the baby's divinely soft cheek with the pad of his thumb and notes her closed eyes, and if he didn't know any better, he would've thought she was just sleeping. _Sleeping_!

Except her eyes never open, and she never breathes to cry.

His own eyes become glassy with despair and he breathes through his mouth before speaking gently. "Adrian…we have to name her." The young mother in front of him never raises her head, just shakes it, her mussed locks following the motion and Ben nods in opposition. "We _do_. She has to have a _name_."

Adrian's tears fall on the still baby's cheek. "I-I can't think of anything good enough. You name her," She suggests lowly.

"Alexandria," Ben breathes.

Adrian's fingers sink lightly into her daughter's dark downy hair, sniffling her approval. She finally bestows the name with a kiss to the small forehead in front of her.

The time is now **10:32 A.M.**

Why hasn't the world ended yet?

* * *

Eventually, the nurses come back. The doctor comes back. Her parents come back. His parents come back.

Her daughter _doesn't_ come back. Adrian now questions her sanity, questions if she was ever there in the first place.

The nurse cautiously holds the baby away from Adrian's weak grasp and the girl doesn't look up to ask why or where they're taking her. There's only one place where she could be going. Or at least, where her body could be going.

Ben stays throughout her side in all of this. In fact, its past visiting hours, and his pleas become demands. "I'm not moving."

By the time a night and a day pass, the entire room is filled with arrangements of life-filled flower arrangements, condolences.

They're keeping Adrian under observation. She's unstable, mentally depressed, and unable to properly function, she hears. "This is a traumatizing event in her life," Doctor Zano says.

"_Don't_ talk about her as if she's not _still_ in the room," Ben spits savagely, keeping a tight hold on Adrian's limp right hand. "She can still _hear_ you."

Several pairs of eyes have snapped to him, but his eyes are trained on Adrian, who listlessly stares out the window. Her thumb traces over his still white knuckles periodically, whenever he becomes too upset, and he takes a noticeable breath.

Doctor Zano's eyes soften at the sight, and he turns back to both sets of parents; "Why don't we take this discussion outside?"

"Yeah," Ben mutters under his breath as the door opens. "Why don't you?"

The door clicks shut and Ben vents. "Can you believe that guy? I mean, for a doctor, he's kind of a jerk."

Her thumb runs over his knuckle.

"A _huge _jerk," Ben exaggerates, wanting to cause a reaction, any reaction, out of the generally lively soul beside him. She barely stirs.

It's been three days.

Then, the silence in the room is broken: "Can we just…go _home_, now?" Adrian says slowly, her voice struggling from disuse. She usually asks this question when they're alone, in hopes that he passes it along, which he does. Not that it helps because they always find some reason to "_keep her under observation_" for another night, another day.

* * *

"You don't seem to _understand_, Mr. Boykewich," A RN told him on a later occasion. "She is high risk for post-partum depression. We can't risk letting her out early-"

"And having her do something stupid, like _suicide_, right?" Ben states grippingly, anger growing within him with every passing moment in this office. The registered nurse in front of him visibly reacts and heaves a sigh. "I know Adrian Lee, okay? I know her. And she is the most alive person I've ever known. She just wants to go home, alright? She wants to be-" With me, he wants to say, but doesn't. "She wants to be away from all of this because this is where she last saw our daughter. Is that so much to ask?"

The distinguished woman in front of him doesn't say a word, seeming troubled herself.

His eyes become wide and frantic with glassy, unshed tears. "I'm begging you. I swear, I'll get down on all fours if I have to," Ben holds on to his last strand of hope, hoping to affect this woman, even in the slightest. He leans forward and links his hands together on the desk, as if preparing for prayer. "Let me take her home, at least for one night, and if I notice any signs of trouble, anything at all, I'll bring her back."

Maybe it was something in the affliction of his voice, or the sight of the young teenage mother so broken after losing her newborn. After a moment, the RN nods her consent, and Ben politely thanks her before rushing out of the room.

* * *

Adrian's temple leans on the warm glass of the passenger seat, eyes unfocusedly staring out the window. Ben's grasp on her left hand remains steady, rubbing circles into her soft hand; a grasp that keeps her from teetering over the edge.

He parks slowly in their driveway and quickly gets out of the car, jogging over to her side quickly to gather her up in his arms. Adrian is small and humble in his embrace, clutching onto his shirt, and her wide toffee eyes are set on him the entire time, even when he gives her a kiss on the forehead as they cross the threshold.

In lieu of everything, their condo, their home with which she loved with all of her heart because it was theirs, looks completely foreign, like a prison. She looks around, from their _perfect_ kitchen, to their _perfect_ living room with light streaming in from the patio, to their _perfect_ hallway that Ben leads them through. Without pausing, he goes straight into their _perfect_ bedroom and lays her down on their _perfect_ comforter where she curls up into a ball. He settles in beside her, arm curling over her small form like a cocoon.

If it reminds them of that one night out of many that they spent in Ben's room, when they finally realized that they were to be parents, they don't mention it.

Her hand finds its way to his and rests atop of it, sapphire ring glittering in the early morning light.

* * *

The very next person both Adrian and Ben see after The Incident as it was named, is Grace.

She comes over a few hours later, with her pubescent grey-blue eyes and warm plate of assorted cookies. Adrian takes one look at her, and laughs. Leave it to Grace to think that _hope_ and _cookies_ will make everything better. She laughs so hard that her food deprived stomach protests in agony. She doubles over, clutching her midsection.

She wonders why Grace becomes a blurry frenzy of yellows and blues, until she realizes that tears are steadily streaming down her face, and Ben is holding her up.

"Oh _sweetie_," Grace murmurs, helping Ben usher Adrian onto the couch. Grace sits beside her best friend, towelette in hand to brush away the tears as Ben unwraps the Saran Wrap from the decorative plate. Adrian is still stubbornly grinning, watching Ben and Grace silently dote over her. She would love for them to see how silly they look right now.

"Adrian," Grace says softly, taking the brunette's face into her hands. Adrian's brow quickly wrinkles in aggravation.

"I'm fine, _Doctor Bowman_. Really, I am."

"No, you're not," Grace says firmly. Her expression softens, "When was the last time you've eaten?"

"That's easy. When did Alexandria die?" Adrian mutters, and Grace's eyes become horrified pools.

She quickly reaches for the plate in Ben's hand and practically shoves a cookie towards her best friend's mouth, "_Eat_!" The blonde demands.

The Latin mother rolls her eyes. "Quit it with the drama. I've eaten since then."

"Not much, apparently," Grace argues, and the room fills with a low involuntary rumble. "Your stomach's _growling_! Eat this cookie, or so help me Adrian Lee, I'll-"

"You'll what?" Adrian fixes her with an annoyed glance. "Shove it down my throat?"

"I just may!" Grace says shrilly, pushing the cookie towards her, "_Eat it_!"

Adrian looks from Grace's stern face, to the cookie, then up to Ben's worried visage, until she huffs as if the action of taking the cookie out of her hand was far too much, and takes a bite much larger than what her mouth can hold, chewing it slowly and deliberately to satisfy the blonde next to her. Just to annoy her, Adrian gives her a bare tooth grin, marred with chocolate smears, which Grace rolls her eyes at. "Happy?"

"Very." Grace replies dryly. Without warning, the blonde embraces her friend. "Adrian, I'm sorry. I'm _so_, so sorry," Grace says, shutting her eyes shut, restraining tears. Adrian stays in the same position, even as her best friend lets her go and Grace stands and gives Ben a hug as well. "I saw her, you know. Alexandria," Grace says, muffled against Ben's lean torso. "She was _beautiful_."

"Yeah," Ben agrees. "Just like her mother." As he says this, he's looking directly over Grace's shoulder at Adrian. Her eyes fill with tears and she directs her attention over to the patio window.

Grace releases Ben and wipes her eyes against her arm. "Have you- have you both decided what you're going to do? About her- her burial?"

* * *

"You _have_ to make a decision, Adrian," Rueben says sternly. "This is a serious matter."

The young mother directs her gaze at her father, tilting her head to the side. "I'm sorry. Are you getting angry at me because I can't decide how I want to bury my daughter quick enough?" She says cuttingly, and the grandparents loitering the room wince. "How about we _plasticize_ her? Keep her looking the way she does forever?" She continues spitefully. "Or stuff her like a _doll_, Betty would like that, right, Betty?" Adrian swerves her head to the busty blonde, who shrinks in her seat.

"Quit it, Adrian," Cindy says, eyes with darkening bags underneath from the lack of sleep. "We know this isn't easy, but it's been over a week and you haven't made a decision-"

"And excuse the Hell out of me for not being able to!" Adrian stands, dark eyes blazing. "You may have all been parents longer than Ben and I," Adrian states to all of the elders in the room. "But you have no idea what we're going through."

"You're right," Leo says calmly, wisely. "We don't know what it feels like to put a child in the ground, so you take as much time as you need," He says, stressing it to the other grandfather in the room, who fixes him with an annoyed stare, "And you make the right decision for Alexandria, alright?" He stands and Betty follows, giving Ben a hug and then giving Adrian one, smoothing out her curls gently.

"_Lo siento_, Betty," Adrian apologizes in Spanish, knowing that the blonde would understand.

Betty nods with a smile, and regards the young parents, "I love _both_ of you, okay? So, you just make the best decision for that baby," She says carefully, and then she leaves, heels clacking in her wake.

Cindy looks to Rueben and, tentatively, he nods, standing as well. Cindy kisses her daughter on the cheek and holds Ben, whispering something inaudible in his ear, which he nods at, Rueben giving him a steady pat on the shoulder before facing his daughter. "Daddy, I-"

"Don't even worry about it," He says simply, and then kisses her forehead. "Take as much time as you need."

He exits, and Adrian immediately buries her head into Ben's chest, gripping his blue button down shirt in her hands as he holds her. Ben's chin lands on top of her hair and he closes his eyes. "I want her stone next to my mother's."

They both know that, as new parents, they shouldn't even be discussing this. In an ideal world, Adrian would be in bed, breastfeeding their daughter and Ben would be right there, video camera in hand. They _should_ be discussing how _adorable_ she looks when she yawns, and how _peaceful_ she looks when she sleeps, _not_ when they should hold her _burial_ service.

The fact of the matter is that it's not an ideal world. It's the world they live in.

"Of course," Adrian says softly. "But…I don't want her buried." She can't stand the thought of maggots and other undesirables infesting her little coffin and destroying her beauty. It's enough to make her cringe.

"Then, what do we do?" He questions aloud, and Adrian's already going through the possibilities in her mind. They could _embalm_ her, they could _freeze_ her, and then her mind sets on one possibility and it makes her eyes well, but it's the only thing she can think of doing that would be right.

"Cremation." Adrian whispers, and she feels Ben nod above her in agreement.

* * *

The doctor was named after the guest star- the good looking one, not the guy with a unibrow, _Nick Zano_. I _tried_ to give the Bendrian baby a different name –that failed epically. I'm pretty much set on **Alexandria**, which means "_**the defender of men**_."

More characters will be integrated next time, including Amy, Ricky, and a guidance counselor I think all fans want back on the show.

Review? Or flame?

DAC


	2. a bough left to break

Adult language; content. If your parents don't let you watch R rated movies, maybe you shouldn't read this?

* * *

They go back to St. Mary's Memorial Hospital.

Ben's still holding her hand when Adrian pauses outside of the set of automatic doors, stuck in place. He looks back at her as she purses her lips, eyes glittering with tears unshed. Patients and visitors pass by and Ben stands in front of her, holding her face in his hands. "Are you sure about this? Maybe we should-"

"No, no, I'm fine. _I'm fine_, Ben. I just-"

"I know," Ben says solemnly, eyes searching hers for words unsaid. "I know."

She nods because she believes him, and she retakes his hand in hers and leans up on tiptoe, brushing her lips against his caringly. When she leans back, she pecks the back of his hand, "Thank you."

Ben holds her by the back of her hair, gives her a chaste kiss on the forehead.

And then they walk into the hospital, together.

* * *

They're led to the floor of the hospital that is below ground level.

Adrian takes slow, deliberate breaths through her mouth, resisting the urge to fidget. It's not like she's dealt with death before, not really. Even when Dr. Bowman died, it was something that was just known and then whenever she went back to Grace's house, it became apparent that he wouldn't come out of his den or stop by the kitchen to overhear their conversations anymore.

He was just…gone.

And at the funeral, it was a closed casket for display and the ashes that were spilt on the golf course weren't actually his, but rather remains from the plane, grounded down to ash.

She thought that death at that point was an abstract event that she would, one day, have to inevitably deal with, so she just didn't worry about it.

She just never thought it would be this soon.

* * *

Ben recalls his father, crying. Remembers standing by the doorway while Leo held Sarah in his arms.

She was diagnosed with cancer at the tender age of 35. Went into remission by 38. Died at age 40.

Ben was 10 years old.

He still visits her, sometimes. Still talks to her about his hopes and dreams. About his daughter. About Adrian. Not that both aren't synonymous anyways, but he talks about them individually, at different times and at different places.

He keeps a steady hold of her hand as they proceed to the morgue and finally, they're in front of their daughter's current resting place. The nurse tilts the blanket back and Alexandria's eyes are still peacefully shut, never having been opened. Adrian barely takes a breath as she stares down at their ashen and beautiful creation and Ben thanks the curator, who calmly takes his leave.

Adrian reaches over and mournfully runs her fingers through her daughter's soft hair. "We should- we should dress her." Adrian whispers, louder than a breath, "You know, before we-"

"Yeah, of course we should," Ben agrees, eyes focused on manicured fingers caressing his daughter's hair.

* * *

They return to the condo and for the first time in days, Adrian steps into the nursery with Ben leading the way.

Light blindingly fills the room from the open window, reflecting off of the shimmering furniture and mobile, that makes a soft lullaby every few moments. The room is laced with baby pink borders and lily white figurines and a rocking chair by the window that sits still without a body to fill it. The bassinet itself is displayed with Grace's baby shower blanket, fluffy white pillows, and a pink teddy bear from Betty.

Adrian surveys the pristine surroundings, her heart breaking ever so slightly with every passing second, and goes straight to the closet, flinging clothes from hangers. It starts with a small shirt but then the pile on the floor grows larger and Ben realizes that she is blindly throwing clothes behind her without any abandon.

"Adrian…what-"

"Nothing's good enough," She cuts him off before he could finish his question. "We got her all of these clothes, and _nothing's_ good enough." Adrian goes from one side to another and then proceeds onto the dresser, where she begins throwing items she deems unworthy, which seems to be about everything with the way the immaculate blush colored room becomes cluttered in clothes.

Ben wraps his arms around her midsection, pulling her away from the dresser. "Adrian, stop- _Stop_!" She struggles, attempting to free herself from his grasp.

"Let me go! It's not _fair_!" Adrian shouts. She tugs at his arms around her, but he only tightens his hold around her petite frame. She takes deep breathes, curls disheveled around her face, until she crumples slowly to floor, Ben following her. "It's not fair, Ben. I thought that- that I didn't want her. I wanted her to- to disappear," Her voice crackles at every interval as tears stream down her cheeks. "And then I thought that maybe, maybe if I kept and maybe if we could have her, then it would be as if it wasn't a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake," Ben says firmly, cradling her in his lap.

"Wasn't it?" She cranes her neck to face him, "How do we know that this isn't some kind of karma, or that she was never supposed to be ours?" She wipes her face furiously, pulling at the tresses of her hair. "I should've- should've had the abortion."

He grabs her arms then, and pulls her to face him evenly. "And what would that have done? You would've ended up regretting it, and then we-" He cuts himself off, realization hitting him. "And then we wouldn't be together." Adrian's head bows in distress as he continues. "You don't want to be with me."

"No," She says lowly. "That's not it. I don't want to feel like _this_. I don't want to see our- our daughter the way she is now, when I felt her move inside me the night before." She looks up at him, eyes welled in earnest. "Maybe if I had the abortion, then we wouldn't have to bury our daughter."

"Even if that meant that we would never get to know each other?" Ben asks wearily, loosening his hold on her.

Adrian shakes her head hollowly, "I-I don't know. I just…I don't think I'm strong enough to go past this." She pauses and then, "Would you do this all over again, knowing that this would happen?"

"Wouldn't you?" Ben asks her, looking straight into her broken gaze and holding her head with his larger hands, brushing over her cheeks with his thumbs.

She knows what she _should_ say. But she promised him that she wouldn't lie to him, and she won't do it now. Adrian closes her eyes and shakes her head, feeling Ben's hands leave her face. He stands and she holds her face in her hands, the overwhelming feeling of shame washing over her. She hears him heave a sigh and then exit the room, closing the door behind him.

She cries.

As soon as the nursery door closes, Ben's forehead goes to rest on it as he listens to Adrian's muffled sobs on the other side.

* * *

They hold the service that Sunday.

Reverend Peters, who took the place of Jack's stepfather in the church, drones on in the cemetery. There's an epitaph next to Sarah Helen Boykewich's that's smaller and so much more new. It reads 'Alexandria Boykewich, a beloved daughter and granddaughter, November 8th 2010'.

The weather, despite it being autumn, is distressingly bright and sunny, but Adrian feels a chill, choosing to wrap her arm around her midsection. She's wearing a small black dress, reminiscent to the day she took the pregnancy test, and feels nausea attempt to overcome her. She glances over at Ben in her seat. Ben, who slept on the couch out of his own prerogative the past two sleepless nights, and he looks as vulnerable as she feels when he glances back. After a long moment of staring into his almond eyes, she lays her head on his shoulder and he holds her hand in his own.

On her other side is her mother, rubbing circles onto her back consolingly. When the service reaches its end, Ben stands, guiding Adrian by the hand, and they lay a bouquet of lily white roses onto the soft soil in front of the small epitaph together. The two parents linger as everyone rises to leave to the wake, Adrian takes a hold of Ben's hand before he can turn away. She faces him, craning her head. Looking up at him and hoping to convey everything she feels at that moment isn't enough, so she wraps her arms around his waist and holds him close as he does the same. "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything," Ben says, stroking the dark locks down her back.

"Watch over me," Adrian says. She looks up at him with set eyes. "I'm serious, Ben."

"I know," He says, eyes hooded and contemplative.

"Do you promise? Even if you're mad at me or if I do something stupid?"

"I promise."

"Even if…something happens and we're not together anymore?"

Ben looks down at Adrian. "Do you _want_ us to be together?"

"Yes," She breathes honestly.

"Then why would you say that?"

He stands in front of her, so earnestly, and she purses her lips, averting her gaze from his eyes. "Because we don't know how we'll feel months or years from now. We don't even know how we'll feel tomorrow. But I can't lose you, even and especially as a friend because…I'm scared I'll do something I'll regret and if you're there then at least I won't lose myself. Does that even make any sense?" She questions after her ramble.

"Yes, it does," He says, resting his chin on her head, before leaning down to press his lips to her forehead.

* * *

They go back to her parent's house for the reception. Something about being at her first house is comforting and she brushes her hand against the back of his until he clasps his fingers through hers.

As soon as they walk in through the back door, they're quickly ambushed by Grace, who hugs them both, a weak smile from Jack, who claps Ben's back and hugs Adrian. The kitchen is quiet, filled with their closet family and friends. Cindy already has the food laid out and as they walk into the kitchen, they're hit with the divine aroma.

And then Ben looks around and then his eyes land on the dining room table, and there sits Amy with John on her lap. She brushes back her russet brown hair, and smiles the smallest of smiles. In his peripheral, he sees Adrian fidget with her bracelet, bite her lower lip. She only does that when she's nervous, or contemplative. Maybe it's because Ricky is sitting next to Amy, and his hand is resting atop of her free hand. Or maybe seeing the small family sitting as they should be sitting gets to her, he doesn't know.

What he does know is that he wouldn't give up this petite girl next to him for anything. So he gently guides her into the kitchen with his hand on the low of her back, and smiles at her when she looks up at him.

Adrian, looking into his eyes, takes a breath and smiles back.

And for the first time in days, she thinks she could handle this.

It's no more than an hour later when she finds out how wrong she is.

With her head cocked to the side, she stares at the teenage mother in front of her in shock. "What did you say?"

"I just-" Amy's eyes widened variably, scared that she had now said the wrong thing. "Ricky and I-"

"Have been talking about me and Ben behind our backs?" Adrian uncrosses her arms, clenching her fist. With a raised brow, she regards the lighter brunette. "Speculating if _and_ when we would fall apart?" The Latina looks to the ceiling and puts her hand over her heart, feeling the increasing thud protrude from her chest. Everyone's been walking on eggshells around her, and trying to keep her calm, and she doesn't know if it was seeing Amy's smiling face in her first house, or the thought that people may've been discussing how _doomed_ Ben and her really were from the start, but she's so incredibly _infuriated_ right now, hearing only her heartbeat pounding in her ears. _How dare she_ come into her house, with her innocent _son_ and _Ricky_, and pretend that nothing at all was wrong with that and discuss how she didn't think that her, Ben, or the baby were going to make it in the first place.

Adrian and Amy were the only ones alone in the kitchen, but Grace overhears the impending conflict by the door, and goes off in search of Ben in the backyard. "Ben, I think that Adrian needs you in the kitchen. She and Amy are talking and I think Amy may have said the wrong thing," She rambles, blue eyes wide. Ben quickly goes back to the house with Grace and Jack taking the flank, and Ashley, overhearing the exchange, follows as well.

"Get out," Adrian says lowly. Her gaze is averted from Amy's, but waves of anger seem to be radiating off of her. Grace jumps into the fray first, touching her best friend's shoulder.

Looking between the two brunettes, Grace smiles weakly, "Is everything alright here?"

"It will be, as soon as Amy gets out of my parent's house," Adrian says calmly to the blonde, whose smile diminishes.

Ben comes to stand behind Adrian as Amy says, "I didn't mean to upset you Adrian, but can you not see any truth to what I said? You and Ben have nothing in common and if it weren't for the fact that the both of you were upset that night, you wouldn't have even thought about being with each other intimately."

Over the past few months, Adrian grew to be a calm and mature individual. One who didn't assume as much and instead listened as others spoke, even if it were things she didn't want to hear. She didn't want to hear this. Not from Amy Juergens, least of all. _Especially_ Amy Juergens.

The pounding in her ears grew to a crescendo until her vision faded to black, the only thought cascading through her mind was clawing out Amy Juergens' mohogany green eyes. And even still, her reflexes were sharp because she launched herself at Amy Juergens.

As Adrian tried to propel herself forward, she found that she couldn't because she was restrained by something holding her waist, and then realized Ashley pulling her sister back and Grace stepping out in front of her in an attempt to calm her down. "Get her out of my house, get that _bitch_ out of my house!"

"Is she a bitch because she was being honest?" Ashley snarled in defense of her sister.

"She's a bitch because she has no right as to say who _belongs_ together, and who _doesn't_!" Adrian screamed back. Her hands move to her waist, fingernails biting into the back of Ben's hands, but he doesn't relieve his hold. After moments of blind fury and struggle, she collapses against Ben's torso in defeat as he, Grace, and Jack hold her back. The parents come in from the back door in shock and demanding answers and Ricky comes back from putting John down next door. "What's going on?"

"Your girlfriend's being a bitch, what else is new?" Adrian snarkily replies.

"Adrian!" Ruben admonishes.

She doesn't even bat an eyelash in his direction. "Ricky, if you've ever, _ever_, had _any_ consideration for me," Adrian heaves with heavy breathes. "Get her out of my house, before I do something I _won't_ regret."

The space becomes quiet after that, and the young father nods, ushering Amy out of the vicinity without a word. Adrian's arms are over Ben across her waist and she closes her bloodshot eyes as she rubs over the bright red nail marks on his hands with her thumb. She didn't mean to indirectly hurt him in the process of wanting to hurt other people, but it's something she keeps doing and she needs to stop, _wants_ to stop.

Which is why, for the life of her, she can't understand why she ends up pulling Ricky's hair, tugging at his lips, and naked in his arms the next morning.

* * *

Hmm, so, show of hands: did you see...any of that coming? 'Cause I didn't. And yes, lemons will be in this story, in detail, and maybe there was some cheating involved.

Maybe.

Review?

DAC


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